


to the edge of the world

by tomhardad



Category: Suburra - La Serie | Suburra: Blood on Rome (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M, i know there's a film named SUBURRA (2015) but i'm pretending not to see it lmao, i'm going NUTS thinking abt s3 so this is what i wrote
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:55:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27248389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomhardad/pseuds/tomhardad
Summary: It's pouring outside, but Aureliano's heart is wilder than any storm. [Based on a prompt I got on tumblr that said "What if we run away?" + spadeliano ✨]
Relationships: Aureliano Adami/Alberto "Spadino" Anacleti
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	to the edge of the world

It pours outside the hotel, wind howling from a crack on the glass doors. Spadino stares at the ceiling, naked under the old, dusty covers Aureliano had scavenged for them, close enough to reach out and just _touch_. 

Aureliano never wants to leave his side.

He stares at his profile in silence with the same reverence he stares at the waves in Ostia, unable to deny what he feels for him. He hasn’t said it to Spadino again since they started having sex because it would make things too complicated - or more complicated than they already are in his mind and heart. 

_“My life has changed too.”_

Spadino sighs, his lips still a beautiful shade of crimson after Aureliano’s kisses and bites - he still remembers their taste, intoxicating on his tongue, making him craving more. Aureliano yearns to pull him into his arms, to tug on the hair on his nape and kiss him slowly, to swallow Spadino’s whimpers and shiver when he slides his warm hands down his sides, tracing scars and tattoos, peeling every layer of armor he had ever crafted for himself like they’re nothing but rags. 

Aureliano watches him and waits. Spadino’s voice is always hoarse after they fuck. “What if we run away?”

It’s Aureliano’s turn to sigh but he is surprisingly more amused than exasperated. “And go where, Spadi?” he asks, his blue gaze flickering down his neck, dotted with freckles. His mind provides him with a vivid memory of a different night, warm and quiet, in which Aureliano kissed all of those freckles, watching Spadi unravel beneath him.

The low rumble of thunder rocks his very core and Spadino shivers, long eyelashes fluttering as he blinks, startled. “Anywhere,” he provides, finally leaning on his elbow and looking at him, brown eyes glittering under the room’s lamplight. “There’s _nothing_ left for us here.”

Aureliano winces, remembering everyone he had lost. Everyone _they_ had lost. 

_“Nobody comes out of this clean, Spadi.”_

“You have a wife and a son,” Aureliano feels hollow, his heart aching in his chest. He met Angelica and baby Cesare after everything was over, Samurai a mere corpse shot to death and dumped in the ocean, a fallen emperor replaced by two rulers. Angelica was polite if not a bit cold when Spadino introduced them, but Cesare was the happiest baby Aureliano had ever seen, smiling his toothless smile up at him when Spadi said he could hold him.

Aureliano had never held anything more precious in his life.

As much as he wants Spadino for himself, as much as he craves Spadino’s presence next to him every single day, he won’t get in the middle of his family. He should be happy, even if Aureliano never gets the same ending.

He doesn’t _deserve_ happiness.

“You know I love Angelica and my son but-- I don’t _love_ her like that,” Spadino’s eyes make him want to be a better man, a _softer_ man, jagged edges polished until they’re smooth, just so they can’t hurt him. “I don’t love her _like this_.”

It twists like a knife to his gut; it hurts way more than being shot in the back ever did. Aureliano breathes in deeply, reaching out with trembling fingers to trace the slope of Spadi’s nose, his skin still covered in a thin layer of sweat. The flash of lightning crosses the sky and for a brief moment it’s daylight, and he sees what he could have clearly.

A life away from Ostia, away from death and misery and loneliness. A life with Spadino in a place no one has ever heard of them, maybe near the coast somewhere, a small house just for them where they could see the sunrise. A place where they could take care of each other and _breathe_ , just breathe.

“ _We can’t_ , Spadi,” Aureliano whispers, desperation evident in his voice. Spadino presses closer until his hand touches his chest, over his heart, and Aureliano closes his eyes, holding onto every last shred of control he has left. “ _Spadi_ …”

“I only want to be with you, Aureliano,” Spadino drags his hand up to his neck, lips kissing his closed eyelids tenderly. Aureliano shivers when he kisses his lips, wet and hard, making him forget all the death and fear and self-hatred, if only for a few minutes.

When they pull apart, Aureliano wishes this lightheadedness could become a constant in his life. 

“I don’t have to prove anything to anyone, I’ve said it before,” Spadino lies on top of him now, hands splayed out on the floor next to his head, his mohawk completely disheveled. Aureliano has never seen a more beautiful person in all his life. “Angelica can take care of business on our end, and Nadia can do it on yours. It’s time to live our lives, Aureliano.”

He thinks about Lele, who shot himself in front of them out of guilt, who never lived to see their final victory over Samurai, who never saw Cesare’s toothless smile even once. He thinks about his sister and Isabel, both gone because of him, both taken from him before he could protect them.

They might never be safe - enemies crawl from the shadows wherever you are, especially when you make it to the top of the criminal food chain the way they did, and Aureliano knows this… But he also knows they are stronger together than apart, Spadino watching his back as intensely as Aureliano watches his; that’s how they beat Samurai in the first place. _Together_.

Aureliano pushes Spadi’s hair away from his forehead, feeling how soft the strands are against his fingers. “ _This_ is my life, Spadi,” his blue eyes look around the empty hotel until they stop on his face again, his hand sliding down to caress his cheek. “I’m here for you but I won’t leave this place.”

Spadino’s face visibly crumples and Aureliano hates himself for it, wishes he could take it all back just to see Spadi’s smile again, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Thunder shakes the earth one more time but the noise is drowned out by his own heartbeat, too loud to his own ears. He watches as Spadi slides away from him, leaving him cold even under the covers.

Spadino doesn’t say another word for the rest of the night. When Aureliano wakes up, he is long gone but the rain hasn’t stopped pouring.

**Author's Note:**

> really sorry if they sound a bit OOC this is only second attempt at writing them........ i cannot wait for friday tho!!!
> 
> i'm on tumblr! [@yusufnicolo](https://yusufnicolo.tumblr.com/) thank u for reading 💞💞💞


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